The Surveyors by Mary Jo Salter

Author:Mary Jo Salter
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2017-08-22T04:00:00+00:00

PAPARAZZI

I wish I could escape the paparazzi!

They pop up everywhere I want to go.

I cannot shop, I cannot sunbathe topless,

I fly to Greece, I’m spied at the Acropolis.

How did anyone know?

I wish I could escape the paparazzi!

They leap from limos like it’s some big game—

At home they crouch for hours in my bushes.

I watch them lie in wait on their big tushes!

Don’t they have any shame?

I won a Golden Globe (OK, a nomination)—

but they were asking, was my stomach flat?

Did I look pregnant? Who might be the father?

Is he a rock star—if not, why bother?

How shallow, to care about that!

I’m really shy, I am a private person.

Nobody knows how deep I am inside!

Yes, I love Gaultier, I’m wearing Prada,

but I’m happy in jeans, or nada.

Where can a simple girl hide?

I wish I could escape the paparazzi!

If I could wave a magic wand today,

I would get rid of them in such a hurry!

I ought to sue them, then again I worry—

what if they went away?

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